


i broke free on a saturday morning

by thecanary



Series: Trans Karev Canon [4]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Coming Out, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transition, Transitioning, his siblings are mentioned but this is his story, idk whichever is the tag, surgery ment, trans karev canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 10:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecanary/pseuds/thecanary
Summary: a recap of alex's life up to date, as a trans guy living his best





	i broke free on a saturday morning

**Author's Note:**

> so this is the first half! if you want any sections expanded on in another fic, let me know and i'll do it!

She was six, and a beautiful girl. Long hair, blond and brown, pink her favourite colour. Pink got dirty easily though, and her mom wasn't always up to wash things, so she wore dark colours instead. Sometimes her mom would forget to buy shampoo, so one day she cut it all off. Somehow it looked so right. She never looked back.

She was ten, and at a crossroads with herself. Her body was changing and she felt more like her mom daily - something she had hoped and crossed her fingers to avoid. Her younger brother was growing quickly, and she realised that her hand-me-downs would be no good for him pretty soon, he'd hit the age where girls clothes wouldn't do it. Another expense, unless she started wearing boys clothes, pre-emptively ready to be handed down to Aaron. It'd work easier in the long run, and so what if her heart caught in her chest a little every time someone called her sir or man, or even kid, instead of little miss or girl or any of that.

Karev was thirteen, going by her surname as an abbreviation of 'that Karev kid'. You know, the one looking after two younger siblings and a crazy mom? You know, the one just this close to flunking out of school? You know, that Karev kid. Teachers thought surely she could do so well if she just put effort in, maybe if she started focusing on doing work at home as well as school, maybe if she skipped less days of class, but hey, when her siblings were sick someone had to look after them. When her mum was sick someone had to look after her. And she had to have a job, even with the meager money the state gave them, she had to keep working to keep them fed and healthy. So school fell by the wayside through middle school, no one had hopes that she'd get very far with her life at all. She knew that she had to prove them wrong.

Karev was fifteen and she wasn't so sure that she was a she anymore. Watching her brother grow up doing everything she wished she'd done, it was jealousy that filled her; pride for her brother, there was that too, but the jealousy came from her heart, making her chest feel tight until she could do nothing but work and cook and clean and ride her bike until she was focused on anything but the anger inside her. She was still keeping her hair short, wearing baggy shirts to cover her body that felt like it was becoming more feminine by the day, and when people mistook her for a boy, for an older brother or a son - until she spoke - she was overjoyed. Maybe things were changing for the better, even her siblings called her Karev, her younger sister even saying 'but it's silly for you to have a girl's name!'. Maybe it was, she wondered sometimes. Maybe she should have been born a boy.

Alex was sixteen and reinventing himself. Hair cut short deliberately every step and word calculated in advance to exude masculinity. His mom hadn't understood but had accepted him shakily. His siblings hadn't doubted for a second when he said "I'm your brother not your sister now, my name's Alex". Most people got the pronouns right, sometimes people would slip up, call him Karev instead of Alex and he almost didn't give a shit. No one doubted that he was a boy, and if they did, he set them straight with a dizzy head and blood nose. Putting a name change through had cost more money than he cared to remember, but it was worth it to see the piece of paper setting the record straight legally. He'd seen a doctor who was talking him through what they could do next, what his options were and all that.

He was seventeen and a few months on testosterone, his voice dropping by the day it seemed. Alex was working out, which in combination with T was helping him build a more masculine body. Sure, things weren’t perfect, but they weren’t ever going to be. He was getting back into his studies at least, grades pulling up slowly to what he’d need to get into med school; he’d set his heart on it after everything with his mum. Med school wouldn’t exactly help her, not the line of work he was looking at, but he couldn’t think of what he’d want to do more. People rarely read him as a girl anymore in public, which he was grateful for. The only thing that worried him was the idea of turning out looking like his father - one step closer to becoming his father, which was to be avoided at all costs. With a doctor’s help he was planning his top surgery, most of the planning making sure he’d manage to look after himself afterwards, that his siblings wouldn’t need to suffer based on it. He never wanted them to have to look after him, not after how that had fucked up his relationship with his mother, having to be an older figure before it was his time to be. Not something he wanted to inflict on his siblings, not after realising how much further he could have gotten with his life if he hadn’t had to do that. So he soldiered on, looking after himself for the most part. 

He was seventeen and his top surgery was booked, parental consent waived by virtue of him being his mother’s carer anyway. 

He was seventeen and he was ready. His life could begin properly. He’d hit eighteen with his chest fixed, on testosterone, and on his way to having further surgeries he needed. No one would need to know. He could hit eighteen and go to college for medicine, he could become a surgeon himself, and he’d never have to tell anyone. He had time. He had enough time. 

Karev was seventeen and he had time, he was going to have surgery, and he’d live the life he wanted, as a son and a brother, and whatever else was going to come later.


End file.
